Farewell!

Hi all (anyone);

hope the new year is bringing hope to anyone that finds this blog. I really enjoyed writing in this each week (well, with the exception of December which was a total and complete clusterfuck for me), but I've decided to make a change in 2013. I've created a new blog elsewhere and it's going to be private, just for me. I'd love to be able to have a public blog and write some private entries, but as far as I can tell, that's not possible on Blogger, and I'd really like to keep my posts all in one place. 

I haven't been able to be as open and honest in this blog as I would like to be, and I need to start focusing on some mental health issues & other stuff going on in my life. I think I need to do this privately. I'm going to be posting daily over there.

I have lots of goals for 2013 just as I did in 2012. Not giving up yet! 

Be well.

December 16th

Yikes.

I didn't update last week; that might be the first time this year that I skipped it entirely.

I got really really really sick last week, sicker that I can ever remember being, and was out of commission for a long time.

I've also been having a lot of issues emotionally/mentally that are refusing to budge at the moment, so I'm just trying to hang in there.

The good thing about being sick is that I lost some weight and seem to have sort of broken through my plateau. I thought it was all water weight at first, but I've maintained the loss so far.

Today was the first day in about a week and a half that I felt well enough to exercise. It was a bit of a disaster, I went running in a t-shirt thinking it was warm enough. It wasn't. It was a pretty miserable workout. Now I'm even more emotionally drained than I was before.

Anyway, I've lost 42.2 lbs total which is nice. Hoping to maintain this through the holidays. Here's my menu/exercise plan for the week. 

SUNDAY

Thai-style stir fried chicken & veg

Jog, 51 minutes

MONDAY

Leftovers

Cardio Kickbox, 25 minutes

TUESDAY

Crispy glazed tofu and broccoli

Frontside, 43 minutes

WEDNESDAY

Leftovers

Backside, 53 minutes

THURSDAY

Portobello and bell pepper sandwiches with aioli and brussels sprouts

Cardio Blast, 35 minutes

FRIDAY

Leftovers

Rest day

SATURDAY

Decide next week

Walk/run or step aerobics

December 2nd

I did okay this week. My stress levels are still pretty high and work was really irritating this week, but this weekend has been really nice so far. 

I'd gained weight over the week of Thanksgiving, which I knew would happen, but I'm down 2 pounds from the start of the week so that's good… I'm still about 3 lbs heavier than my lowest weight this year, though, and I'd really like to get back down to a total of 40 lbs lost by January 1st. My goal was 50 lbs for 2012, but I'd be okay with 40 at this point!

I got in 250 fitness minutes, which was what I'd planned, so I'm happy with that. 

I completed week 1 of the Skinny Snowman challenge. I didn't do nearly as well as I'd hoped, but there's always this week! Right now I'm slacking in the fruit department… you get 10 points/day for eating three servings of fruit which I never do. I usually get in 1 or 2 servings, but as far as I can tell with the challenge, it's all or nothing. I am not a big fruit fan, so I eat a lot of vegetables instead. I eat a lot more fruit in the summer but I'm not a big fan of citrus and other winter fruit. At any rate, I think I'll do better this week!

I did great on water consumption, I've been good about bringing my water bottle with me everywhere I go and if I just fill it up twice I manage my 64 oz. 

Had a couple great workouts this weekend. Went for a jog yesterday on my normal 3.6-mile route. It's been a while since I've done that. I am ridiculously sore today, but took some ibuprofen and cranked out my hour-long step aerobics. Now I'm double-sore, but at least I feel accomplished. 

The weekly goal for Skinny Snowman is to try a new workout, which I'm planning on doing on Thursday - Go Step Aerobics which is from a different instructor than I usually use and a different video. I think I tried it when I first got it like 3 years ago, but I don't think I ever finished it… so I consider it a new workout. 

Here's my meal plan for the week.

SUNDAY

Veggie French bread pizzas

Step Aerobics

MONDAY

Leftovers

Rest Day

TUESDAY

Thai-style stir-fried chicken and vegetables

Frontside circuit training

WEDNESDAY

Leftovers

Backside circuit training

THURSDAY

Southwestern baked egg rolls and salad

Go Step Aerobics

FRIDAY

Leftovers

Rest Day

SATURDAY

Decide next week

Step Aerobics or walk/run

November 25th and Skinny Snowman challenge

Okay, I need a boost here. I keep saying in every single entry what a hard time I've been having lately with doing things correctly. It's a bit odd to me because although I've certainly gotten off track this year, it is nothing like how it's been the past month or so. I think most recently I've just been PMSing, but things are just not right with me. My anxiety is through the roof, and I know that I'd be feeling so much better if I were doing things right. You know all those great and rational plans I had for the Thanksgiving week? I think I knew even when i was making those plans that I wasn't going to follow through with them Of course I did fine during the first few days of the week, but Thanksgiving was a big disaster. 

The guilt I feel when I'm not doing things right or healthfully is completely destroying any happiness I should be having during the holidays. It's so silly. 

So, what am I going to do between now and New Year's to keep myself sane and on track? I've joined the Skinny Snowman Challenge and I'm hoping that keeps me on track. I know ultimately that I just need to get back into the right mindset of "just f'ing DO IT." I'm going back to my handwritten notes too. I still track everything on SparkPeople but I like having a paper journal. Plus, for the challenge I'll need to keep track of lots of things so that I can keep track of my points. I've printed off everything I need and did all my grocery shopping today.

I'm going to try to focus on some other aspects of health… my anxiety has been so bad lately that I'm going to really need to focus on keeping myself slightly sane. I also really need to start drinking lots of water again, I keep realizing at like 3 pm each day that all I've had to drink is coffee.

Anyway, here's my menu plan and exercise plan for a week. Week 1's mini challenge is to try a new recipe, which I'm doing on Thursday. I wish that was the mini challenge every week, haha. I'm always trying new recipes.

SUNDAY

Artichoke, Spinach, and Goat-Cheese Stuffed Mushrooms

Step Aerobics, 63 minutes

MONDAY

Leftovers

Rest Day

TUESDAY

Baked chicken taquitos

Frontside, 43 minutes

WEDNESDAY

Leftovers

Backside, 53 minutes

THURSDAY

Spicy Vegan Sriracha Tofu with Peanut Butter

Spark Cardio Blast, 35 minutes

FRIDAY

Leftovers

Yoga

SATURDAY

Decide next week

Walk/run or Step Aerobics

November 18th

Yikes.

I'm not even weighing myself lately. That's how bad this past week was.

I got sick... which always screws me up terribly. I only did about 100 minutes of fitness for the entire week because I was sick. And although it was a stomach bug, I don't think I lost any weight. Mainly because when I DID start feeling better, I was so hungry and weak that I ate a ton. It was sort of awful.
Luckily I was pretty on track yesterday and have tried to sort of suck it up. It is really difficult for me to focus right now, knowing that Thanksgiving is coming up and all of that. On Thanksgiving I'm just going to try to be reasonable. I'm going to avoid the wine, eat reasonable portions of all my favorites, and I have a workout planned for the afternoon. I'm also not going to take home any leftovers, which always makes my mom mad, haha.

 I'm also going to try to make it to Devil's Lake over the weekend, which is always a good workout. The weather is pretty nice here all week, so I might try to go on Friday. I was originally planning on going out of town, but I don't think I'm going to now.

Yesterday I did my first workout in 5 days... my step aerobics... it was TOUGH.

I think I mentioned that I've been struggling so much with motivation lately. This is why I haven't lost weight in ages. Normally I roll my eyes when I lack motivation because honestly, most of me is just like "Just shut up and DO IT" and that normally works. But I've been struggling, especially this past month. I keep trying to find things to switch it up a bit to keep it interesting, but I've just had so much else on my mind lately. I think part of me is wanting to put off that "extra push" until the new year, but I really don't want to undo the progress I HAVE made. My goal for 2012 was to lose 50 lbs and I've lost 40, so that's pretty good in my book. I just know that if I cut myself slack at this time of year I will end up gaining 5-10 lbs back. And there's no time like the present.

One thing that's minorly exciting is that I discovered Collage Video. How did I not know about this before?! I love being able to watch clips of lots of different workout videos; it lets me gauge if I can do it or not. I found out that my step aerobics video that I do each week is actually rated as 'intermediate/advanced' which made me kind of happy. At any rate, I added a bunch of videos to my Amazon wishlist when I was sick, so I should probably be getting some for the holidays. I'll be excited to mix it up a bit. I definitely need more videos and I don't like renting/borrowing them because I usually end up using them for a long time.

SUNDAY
Beef and vegetable stew
Step Aerobics, 63 minutes

MONDAY
Leftovers
Rest Day (I may do some yoga or cardio kickbox though depending on what time I leave work)

TUESDAY
Chicken Caesar salad wraps
Frontside circuit training, 43 minutes

WEDNESDAY
Leftovers
Backside circuit training, 53 minutes

THURSDAY
Thanksgiving
Spark Cardio Blast, 35 minutes

FRIDAY
Korean-style tofu and veggie noodles
Hike/walk, probably around 50-60 minutes

SATURDAY
Decide next week
Walk/run, probably 50ish minutes

November 11th

Hey there.

I guess Monday seems to be my new updating day, doesn't it? This weekend was sort of an odd one for me and I ended up sort of running out of time and then being too lazy to update.

My week was all right. I actually did finally hit that 40 lbs lost mark on Tuesday. Sadly, today, I am up 1.6 lbs from that mark. I can't wait until I really maintain it. I'm pretty sure the culprit was my going out to dinner on Friday night and not being careful enough... I ate quite a bit.

I managed something like 310 fitness minutes, but only because quite a lot of that (over an hour) was meditative yoga. I probably shouldn't have really counted that. Some yoga is truly quite difficult; the video I was using was definitely not. It was nice though, and pretty relaxing, but was pretty much just stretching and not a whole lot of balance/core/strength work.

Mentally I haven't been doing great. Not sure if it's weather-related or what, but I've been really anxious for about a week or so now. I kind of feel like I'm bouncing off the walls with nervous energy. Which I supposed is better than being nervous with no energy, right? I've had a lot of decisions to make lately and it's exhausting.

I keep trying to be self-motivating and get myself pumped up, but it's so hard when I'm in such a plateau. And again, I know I could break through this plateau if I were just being more careful, and didn't keep having the one or two "bad days" I have each week. It's been harder lately knowing that the holidays are coming up and all that.

Here's my menu plan for the week.


SUNDAY
Garlic chicken and chipotle tacos
Simply Endurance, 54 minutes (this is a video I've had for a while and never completed. I don't know how I feel about it. Not great, since I hate strength training!)

MONDAY
Leftovers
Rest day

TUESDAY
Crunchy chicken salad with celery, grapes, and apples
Frontside, 43 minutes

WEDNESDAY
Sweet Potato Skins with broccoli
Backside, 53 minutes

THURSDAY
Creamy Orzo and Mushroom Pasta
 Cardio Blast, 35 minutes

FRIDAY
Leftovers
Rest day

SATURDAY
Decide next week
Step Aerobics, 63 minutes

November 4th

Hi!
November's going pretty well so far. This past week was okay eating-wise (Halloween was bad, and wine was involved) but pretty awful with exercise. I only got about 161 minutes in. Part of this is that I feel like I am getting sick. Friday I woke up with a stuffy nose and sore throat. Luckily, it went away later in the day but I've been sleeping a LOT and taking Dayquil and ginger. I can still feel it coming on, but it's Sunday and I feel pretty okay so maybe I am warding it off. I did work out yesterday and today, for over an hour each day, so I feel pretty good about that. Today I took a short hike in the woods, but I wasn't really satisfied with that. I raked for like 10 minutes but then got a phone call and ended up talking to him for like a half hour, and then gave up on the raking. So when I got home, I did my short but quite intense cardio kickboxing.

I'm happy to say I've hit my lowest weight again and I'm down 39.2 pounds. I keep waiting and waiting to see the 40 lbs lost mark and I know that if I just stop having those one or two bad days each week that I could hit it.

November has some vague goals in mind -- I know I said I was trying to be better with feeling motivated, so I did start a binder to help with tracking. I kind of always have the same goals - staying w/in my calorie range 6/7 days, reaching 1,000 fitness minutes for the month, and no alcohol. I always seem to do better at the beginning of each month, so I'm hoping to hit that 40 lb mark soon.

Here's my menu plan/exercise plan for the week.


SUNDAY
Frittata with spinach, potatoes, and leeks (I actually made this for breakfast and had leftovers for dinner -- it's delicious, though)
Hike & cardio kickbox (70 minutes total)

MONDAY
Leftovers
Rest day

TUESDAY
Butternut Squash and Black Bean Soup
Frontside, 43 minutes

WEDNESDAY
Leftovers
Backside, 53 minutes

THURSDAY
Lasagna rolls with roasted red pepper sauce
 Cardio Blast, 35 minutes

FRIDAY
Leftovers
Rest day

SATURDAY
Decide next week
Step Aerobics, 63 minutes

October 28th

I didn't write yesterday because I ended up having a pretty busy weekend, so I'm catching up today.

I actually had a pretty decent week health-wise. Didn't QUITE make it to 250 fitness minutes, but I got in about 240 -- and the only reason I didn't knock out those extra ten minutes was that I decided to go for a run on Saturday instead of my (easier) step aerobics. It was a pretty good run and I ended up making my fastest time so far this year. I do much better when it's cold out.

The only bad thing I did was have a bunch of dry red wine on Saturday night, it was so good. Oops.

I don't have much else to report. I'm still hovering around the same weight, which is irritating. I hit my lowest weight again on Saturday, but I'm a pound and a half up from that this morning. I probably need to change up my workouts and eating, but I feel so unmotivated lately. I don't know if it's the weather or what, but I'm just feeling sick and exhausted all the time. I feel like I'm kind of in this half-heartedly... but at least I'm in it, I guess? I've felt this way for a few weeks now.

I'm not writing down my workout or meal plan because I'm at work right now and don't have it handy... I do know I'm making vegan chili (did that last night), mini sliders, chicken pasanda... some good stuff. And my exercise plan seems to be the same every week anyway (probably one of the causes of this plateau.) So, nothing exciting there.

Thinking of doing something to "recharge" for November. Creeping up on holidays always makes me nervous. I want to be excited about this again... and changing it up seems to help. I used to keep a binder where I printed out all my plans for the week and wrote down my food and stuff, but I've kind of stopped doing that now with SparkPeople. I did like it, so maybe I'll start again. Little projects like that help with the motivation for me.

I'm SO CLOSE to that 40 lbs lost mark and I'm so irritated I haven't hit it yet! My goal for 2012 was to lose 50 pounds. I know that expecting to lose 10 more pounds in two months when I've been at a plateau for like, a month now, is probably not realistic, especially given the holidays and all that. But I'd like to lose and maintain at least 40... or even 45.

Maybe I'll work on that binder tonight. I have to do a long workout today because I ended up skipping my step aerobics yesterday -- it was kind of a rough day. I usually try not to work out on Mondays since I don't generally get home from work until almost 8pm, but I'm going to have to tonight. Boo.

October 21

Wow, what a week! And weekend.

I had a half bad and half great week, health-wise. I kind of had the same problem I did last week where I did great the very beginning, crappy in the middle, and then great again at the end. I was really stressed out and irritable and, as it turns out, I was PMSing. I've pretty much been maintaining the same weight, at 37 lbs lost. I think my body is probably freaking out at the random good and bad things I'm putting into it. 

I didn't do as well on exercise as I planned. A little under 200 minutes. I need to get back up to 250. 

I took Friday off from work and it's a great thing that I did. I think I needed an extra day of break. I've had an amazing weekend, including three fantastic workouts (an hour of step aerobics on Friday, over an hour of hiking yesterday, and a really hard hour of jogging today) and I've stayed on-track, food wise, despite going out to eat twice (once at Granite City, once at Panera.) I don't have a whole lot of time to go into it right now but I had a fantastic weekend and some good night's sleep and some Fall Therapy including pumpkin-buying, autumn-scented candles, hiking in the woods, and ice cold hard apple cider, which I am sipping on right now. I also made some delicious homemade low-fat, low-sugar granola that I'm in love with and will probably make again pretty soon since I have all the ingredients handy. Definitely enjoyed scarfing some of that down while hiking.

I'm trying extra hard to stay afloat and happy because I have some seasonal affective disorder issues (well, who doesn't?) with the daylight changes. I've been really anxious, irritable, and depressed. So I'm trying REALLY hard to not let it get to me, and I know the best way to do that is to stay on track. 

SUNDAY

Artichoke chicken sandwiches

Run, 51 minutes

MONDAY

Baked Goat Cheese and roasted winter squash over garlicky fettuccine

Rest day

TUESDAY

Crispy Quinoa Sliders

Frontside circuit training, 43 minutes

WEDNESDAY

Leftovers

Backside circuit training, 53 minutes

THURSDAY

French onion soup and salad

Cardio Blast, 35 minutes

FRIDAY

Walnut and rosemary chicken sandwiches, salad

Rest day

SATURDAY

Decide next week

Step aerobics, 63 minutes

October 14th

Writing a day early because I have a busy Sunday planned!

Well, I had a really, really terrible week. I'm refusing to even weigh myself because I don't want to see the damage I've done. I think I will wait another week before I weigh in. I haven't been that stressed out in a long, long time and although I tried to manage it healthily, I didn't. I'm feeling really disappointed in myself which is a terrible feeling. My goal was 250 fitness minutes, and I only made it to 171. My week started out great, I felt like I could handle the stress and got to see my favorite poet in the world perform right here in Madison, which was an incredible and emotional evening. But gradually the stress got to me and I just sort of shut down. Had three really bad days. One night I even drank and ate pizza with one of my friends. But Friday I picked myself back up and finally worked out again and it was HARD (I've really gotten used to working out 6 days a week and taking 3 days off really hurt my stamina!) and then today I menu planned, had a torturous trip at the grocery store and cleaned my entire kitchen (and apartment) which makes cooking less of a chore. My workout today was easier than yesterday's and now I feel much better. Made chicken tacos for dinner tonight that were super delicious and I'm just going to have a nice relaxing evening at home. I'm also taking next Friday off so I'll have a long weekend next week, and I'm already looking forward to it!


SUNDAY
African peanut stew over brown rice
Step Aerobics, 63 minutes

MONDAY
Rest day
Leftovers

TUESDAY
Grilled chicken sandwiches (grilled chicken, spinach, tomato, mayonnaise on a toasted bun)
Frontside circuit training, 43 mins

WEDNESDAY
Leftovers
Backside circuit training, 53 mins

THURSDAY
Baked Goat Cheese and Roasted Winter Squash fettuccine
Spark Cardio Blast, 35 mins

FRIDAY
Leftovers
Rest day (I might do cardio kickbox if I feel like it)

SATURDAY
Decide next week
Walk/run, 50-ish minutes