Saturday, June 2, 2012

June changes

I’m making a couple changes here…

So yesterday was June 1st.
I’m going to start my weeks starting on Fridays now. Partly because it’s the start of a new month, but also because I’ve decided to start grocery shopping on Thursday nights rather than on the weekends because the store I go to is too busy for my sanity on the weekends, plus I like to save my weekends for other things.

I did pretty poorly this week, again. I think I was waiting for June. I don’t know why I keep waiting for “perfect moments” to start something, but I do.

When I stepped on the scale yesterday morning I was surprised to see that I lost quite a bit of weight that I’d gained over last weekend even though I was pretty pathetic this week. As of today I'm down another pound so I'm at the 25 lb lost mark again. I don’t know if this is just a fluke or what. 
I’m doing a lot of thinking in my life, and am trying to find things that inspire me.
I’ve been pretty down and depressed this week, crying a lot for no reason, and I’ve really been struggling with self-worth and loneliness issues. (PMS is also a huge factor.)

I keep saying that I need to work on my mental health and I think it’s going to be a big focus for June. Of course, my mental health is extremely dependent upon my physical health and what I’m eating and how much I’m working out – I realized that when I was an anxious wreck all weekend because I wasn’t able to stay on plan. I’ve become inspired by some slam poets that I’ve discovered recently and it’s brought me back to when I used to write a lot of it (not good, but it was “healing”, anyway) so I am getting back into it and it feels good. I have this new journal that I just scribble in… poems from other people, poems I’m writing, random quotes. It’s kind of a mess, it’s not pretty and scrapbooky and organized like some people’s journals, but I like it that way because I’m sort of a messy person. I just wish I could deal with my anxiety! I have found some guided meditations on YouTube that I like but it’s so hard for me to lose myself in them. I do like doing my yoga videos and yoga on the Wii Fit, but I don’t find them incredibly relaxing. I think a lot of this week’s issues have been due to lack of sleep – I had terrible sleep all of last weekend and I’ve been going to bed waaaay too late this week.

For June I have printed out some forms that I’m going to write on every day and put them in a binder. I’m going to track the following things daily:

Total calorie, carb, fat, and protein consumption
Workouts (amount of time, calories burned)
Mood (probably on a scale of 1-10, or general notes)
Creativity (just a quick note on whether I did anything that day)
Alcohol and drug use (by drugs I mean caffeine or herbal stuff, nothing illegal ;))

When I did this before, in May, it was really helpful to be able to physically look at what I’m doing. I really enjoyed it.  I track everything on SparkPeople, but it’s nice to be able to see a brief record. I’m a very visual person.

So I went to the grocery store Thursday night and made up a menu plan. I had a really hard day at work yesterday and ended up crying for over an hour, which was truly embarrassing. It wasn't just work-related. Luckily my coworkers were sweet about it and whatever, but anyway. I got home from work, did my cardio kickbox, then watched some slam poetry on YouTube and went to bed fairly early. I slept for eleven hours, which was REALLY needed... I think that's been contributing to my hard time lately.I didn't really get much sleep last weekend. 

Today was a better day. I was still anxious and sad in the morning but I did step aerobics, had a good breakfast, did a little bit more shopping at Trader Joe's and then sort of helped my mom work on her garden (mostly just sat outside in the beautiful weather and took my mom's cat out on his leash.) Tomorrow I'm hanging out with my parents; we're going to go to either Devil's Lake or Blue Mounds and grill out and go hiking, which should be nice. Once in a while you just need your parents, you know? 

Here's my menu/workout plan for June 1st-June 7th.

Teriyaki tofu and pineapple kebabs
Cardio kickbox, 25 mins

Sushi bowls (rice, nori, crab, avocado, carrot, cucumber)
Step aerobics, 63 minutes

Honey Garlic Ginger Chicken with broccoli
Hiking (not sure for how long)

Rest day

Pappardelle with Baby Spinach, herbs, and ricotta
Gold's Gym 40 mins

Jimmy John's
Rest day

Rosemary chicken salad sandwiches and green beans
Frontside, 40 mins

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