Well, as I mentioned in my last entry, this has been a really rough week.
I didn't lose any weight at all, and I'm not sure if I gained. I'm 2 pounds heavier than I was on this day last week, but that was the day I'd lost 3 pounds overnight, so I thought it might be inaccurate.
All in all, after 2 weeks, I am down 8.2 lbs, so that's great, I'm just disappointed that I didn't do a better job this week.
I had a hard time tracking, too. On Friday I met up with work friends for lunch and I got a grilled chicken salad - typical crappy bar fare, with iceberg lettuce, a few gross out of season tomato slices, and a slab of grilled chicken. Got French dressing on the side and barely used any of it. But it was tough to figure out exactly how many calories were in it. All my work friends got burgers or calzones, but it didn't really bother me at all actually (typically I would be craving that, but I was ok with my crappy salad.) Then it was my night with my dad so we got Jimmy John's (luckily, easy to track since they have all their nutritional info on their website). So I did ok Thursday and Friday. Last night though I went out with a friend to celebrate her getting a job at my agency and I caved and got a margarita - well, a mug-o-rita. This was my biggest mistake because after I started sipping on it I just figured, what the hell. I'd ordered the chicken caesar wrap with sauteed veggies with the full intention of saving half of it, but we spent two hours there at the restaurant and I ended up eating all of it. Ridiculous. That would explain the 1.6 lb overnight weight gain (salt, I'm sure.) I know you're supposed to ask for a to-go box right away, etc. but I just didn't prepare myself properly. Plus, this restaurant had essentially zero healthy options. I probably would've been better off ordering the chicken fajitas and just eating the chicken and veggies without the tortillas.
It's also been - I cringe to say this - a WEEK since I've worked out. This changes today. I meant to on Thursday, but I came home from work and literally just broke down sobbing. We had a horrible snow storm and it'd taken me an hour and a half to get home (I work about 9 miles away) an I'd had such a terrible day at work and felt so hopeless. This job is really killing me. Then, of course, I intended to on Friday but I had to go straight to my dad's after work and by the time I got home it was almost 10 pm. And yesterday I had planned to work out before grocery shopping, but yet another excuse… I ended up making way too much coffee (I got a new brand, and without really noticing, accidentally made it twice as strong as I typically do, and I typically drink about 24 oz of coffee a day.) I felt sick to my stomach, I was glued to the couch for 2 hours feeling terrible. I could've snuck a workout in later in the day, but I chose not to.
So, as this is the start of week 3, I'm going to be as good as I was in week 1. That's my goal. It's a tough challenge because I am such an emotional wreck. But I can do it. I worked out a lot my first week and I loved how I felt, so I know it can only help.
One of my resolutions is to also go to the doctor. I am planning on doing so after I get back from Florida in mid-February. I am going to ask her about possible medication to help manage my depression and anxiety. I haven't had a physical since I was 18 years old, so I am LONG overdue. I've just been so ashamed of my body and my weight that it has terrified me to go to the doctor.
I did go to the eye doctor as I mentioned, so that's a good step in the right direction. I sort of had no choice as my glasses broke in half. It cost me a fortune (I have really, really, really bad vision and astigmatism) but at least I will have new glasses soon.
I put together a menu plan for this week, and went grocery shopping yesterday.
Garlic chicken with broccoli
Turkey-Jasmine Rice Meatballs with Baby Bok Choy
Portobello mushroom and red bell pepper sandwiches
Jimmy John's vegetarian sub
Something frozen, or leftovers
One of my other resolutions was to be more creative, and last night I did work on some little stuff for my walls. I went to the craft store yesterday and they had amazing sales going on. This is what I came up with. It was really fun, actually. I found the general idea on Pinterest. I need to do some touching up on it; I was impatient with the process (one of the reasons I'm not an artist) and I also need to buy some sort of varnish for it because it's pretty dull. (And I need to hang them better on the wall.) The original idea I found was to criss-cross masking tape across canvas and then spray-paint a couple coats of a single-color paint on it, then peel the tape off. I did the same process but decided to use acrylics and make each shape a different color. I had a bunch of different beads that I'd bought in a kit a long time ago so I just super glued them on. I like the bigger painting; the three little ones I'm not sure about (I should've gotten a smaller size masking tape for them.)
My goals today are to clean my filthy apartment, do a good workout, and work on my novel a little bit at night. At some point I'm going to go see The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with my mom and sister. So it's a pretty busy day planned. I'll also need to shower... I better get cracking.