Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Mid-week update + progress pics

Thirty pounds gone!

I am really excited about stuff today.

I’ve had a great week so far. I really needed this – a fresh start, new goals, recommittment. That’s really all health is, I think… recommitting.  In the past, my biggest challenge has been my all-or-nothing attitude, the idea that if I have a couple bad days that I have to follow that with a couple bad weeks.  Why on earth do I do that to myself?!

As of today, I’ve lost 30 pounds this year. I finally hit that mark!

I still have a long way to go, but I’m happy today.

I was just briefly skimming old entries in this blog and I realized today that I have never stayed committed to a “program” for this long, nor have I lost this much weight. My junior year of high school, I lost about 28 pounds (but I didn’t have as much to lose back then) but I don’t think I ever got to that 30 lb mark. I stopped going to the gym after that, and I gained a lot of it back my senior year, and then I went to college and that was the end of any sort of healthiness.

I started and restarted my healthy eating all throughout college. Mostly I did okay., during the week. But then weekends came about and I drank myself silly and ate mounds of greasy Chinese and snacks at the bars. Part of me doesn’t regret this; I had fun. But I overdid everything. It was hard for me in school because I never had a car and it took me 3 hours to go grocery shopping with the bus system. So I didn’t get to stock up on fresh produce every week like I can now.

I realized today that if I don’t do this now, I never will. I’m as young as I will ever be. I’m single and I live by myself.  My social life is practically non-existent. I have access to grocery stores and enough money to buy good food. I’m not in school anymore, so I have no studying or homework. Basically, I come home from work and I have several hours to do whatever the hell I want. I’m an hourly employee, so I never get to work overtime, so I’m home by 5:15 or 5:30 every single day of the week.  I’m learning how to like my job, when before I just couldn’t manage it emotionally. What kind of excuse could I possibly have for not getting this shit done NOW?

I feel great this week. My body is so much happier with me. I’m avoiding alcohol like the poison that it is, and that has helped – I feel like even when I just have one drink, it disrupts my sleep and makes me feel like crap.  I’ve decided I’m not going to have a single drink in July, regardless of temptation or where I am. I’m not going to use social outings as an excuse to drink because I will undoubtedly start eating like shit. I think my job in the past few months has been helping with the majorly decreased alcohol use, in that I can see before my eyes, every single day, how much substance abuse costs. So many people whose entire lives are just torn apart by this. I think that can be hard to see when you’re a relatively healthy college student trying to de-stress from the week. When I was doing my internship at a rape crisis center (also working a paying job and being a full time college student and club involvement), I bought a bottle of booze and a Subway sandwich every single Friday night after I was done with my shift, and if I didn’t have other plans, would just sit there and watch TV and drink and try to forget about the week.  What a crappy way to live!

I’ve been sleeping beautifully despite my neighbor never sleeping. I had a friend over last night and she drank quite a bit but I just enjoyed the beautiful evening and listened to the fireworks and just had a great time.  I have tried to be more aware of the healthiness of my food lately. My meals themselves are pretty healthy – it’s the snacking that gets to me sometimes. I buy those Food Should Taste Good tortilla chips that try to trick you into thinking they’re healthier by their packaging, but I know that they’re still junk food. Same with my Kashi crackers and granola bars. I’m trying to focus more on whole foods. I’m probably still going to buy those “healthier” tortilla chips because otherwise I feel like I will just keep having cravings.

Summer is lovely because of the produce. My mom’s growing raspberries so I’ve been eating a lot more fruit. I love most veggies but I am not usually a raw fruit person because I don’t like tartness. But I’ve been eating tons of various berries this week  and they’re so good as an after-dinner dessert. I also am just happier in the summer, even when it’s really fricking hot, which it is right now… I need sunshine and daylight. Winter is usually pretty awful for me. I love these long days, and NO DAMN SNOW.

I took some progress pics today. These are from my beginning weight vs today (down 30 lbs.)  I’m wearing different shorts in the ones I took today but the top is the same. The 2nd and 3rd pics were taken today. The 1st pic was taken January 1st of this year.

I’d taken some pics at about 20 lbs down and hadn't noticed much of a difference at all, but I can see the difference at 30 lbs. I have a long ways to go, and I do think the 2nd and 3rd pics are flattering (I look a lot bigger than this in real life) but I'm happy with what I see - I was really surprised when I dug out this old picture from January.

46 pounds to go!

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