Tuesday, August 21, 2012

quick mid-week positivity

I'm going to try to be more positive in this blog, so I can look back and congratulate myself on all the tiny, tiny victories I've had.

Tonight was one of them. I was kind of annoyed because I'd gained two pounds over the past couple days. I ate way too much on Sunday night, several hundred calories above my range, but I'd had such a hard workout and the dinner I made was so delicious.

So I was a bit frustrated with the gain, I'm SO CLOSE to the 35-lb mark and I just keep hovering around the same 3 pounds.

Work was busy today and I came home tired, and was just sitting on my couch doing nothing after I ate dinner. I really wanted some wine, and almost considered getting some, but the thought flew away pretty quickly - I've done so well with sticking to my no-alcohol rule and I want to keep it that way (I am going to allow myself to indulge after my 21 day challenge is over!)  I went over my calories by about 50 or so today (I had a BIG dinner) and was just sort of being lazy. I had planned to do a 35-minute workout that generally burns 250-350 calories depending on the day, according to my heart rate monitor. But I was watching The Biggest Loser (a very guilty pleasure for me -- I'm not a reality TV fan and I hate the entire premise of TBL, but man, put something on Netflix Instant and I'll watch it!) Anyway, it's hard to sit and watch TBL without feeling guilty for sitting on the couch. I've felt a little defeated the past few days because I've pretty much gone over my calories every single day. Not by a lot, but I've been slacking. And my body has been responding to that. I know I can't be eating the same amount of calories I did when I was 35 pounds heavier. But it's hard to keep cutting back.

So I got off my ass and instead of my 35-minute, easier workout, I did my hardest DVD - my hour long step aerobics (which I skipped on Sunday, my normal day to do it, cuz I went running instead). My stupid heart rate monitor was being a brat and gave out 20 minutes in so I don't know how many calories I burned, but I've never in my life burned less than 500 doing that workout, so... woohoo.

So I avoided the wine temptation after a tiring day, had a great workout, drank lots of water (I've been eating too much salt recently, too) and now I feel better and more energized (not great, since it's 10:30 pm right now.) I was SO sore from my run on Sunday, but after warming up for step aerobics today, I got through it just fine and stretched properly afterwards, and hopefully I won't be as sore tomorrow. (That run I did was the hardest workout I've done in a long time, and I did NOT cool down or stretch properly after because I thought I was going to puke and I basically just collapsed in a chair with a bottle of water.)

I want to write when I do crap like this. I don't write about small successes often, except maybe mention it on my weekly Sunday post. But I want to have a bit of motivation and inspiration for myself, because I have these days often. I'd be a lot lighter now if I'd found a way before to avoid the temptation of relaxing with booze (a Friday night ritual for me my last two years of college) and instead had worked out and watched or read something inspiring. So I just want to be able to look back and remind myself to do something proactive instead of passive, to do something hard instead of something easy.

Also, although I HATE winter and I hate that it's getting darker and darker earlier and earlier, I'm sort of pumped for fall. I definitely want to get out and run more. I tend to do a lot more of that in the fall and spring and I avoid it completely in summer. Last year I ended up being able to run 2 miles without stopping which I'd never done before in my entire life, even as a kid. I don't know if I could do that on flat surface right now or not, since I only run on a really hilly route. I think I could do it on a treadmill, but running on real ground is a LOT harder. I might try it this weekend - going on a flat route - and just see what I can do.


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